Sing Praise to Him

At first I gave my life to God during a time of deep grief.  I needed a reason to believe there was something bigger and stronger than the pain I was feeling. As time went on I continued in my "faith."  When times were good I praised Him. In times of pain I questioned him, yet I never truly felt the same as the night I first surrendered to Him. It seemed through the ups and downs I began to slowly drift away. It wasn't util I stepped out of my comfort zone and saw how others all around the world were worshipping the same God that I began to question my faith.  My seemingly solid faith. It seemed their priorities were every different than mine. When I struggled to go to church once a week, they managed to go every night. When we were called to open our bibles, I flipped to the table of contents while others were already finished reciting the verse.  Their commitment was far greater than mine.  Their willingness to surrender came with willing hearts. How ...

My time in Jamaica has been spent learning, growing and loving. God has been working on my heart continuously. I came into this trip with the misguided mindset of a new start, and new beginning. There is this assumption that when you leave an environment you are in all the pieces will fall together, clicking into this seemingly happy perfect life.  What better way to feel joy than living a life whole heartedly being present in relationships? Being able to love, and share about Jesus. However, in the last month this mentality has drastically shifted.  God's love, and His grace has become a steadfast part of where I am. Like a pacemaker, God has become my lifeline. Life gets crazy, messy and it can be hard, but it also can be a whirlwind of uncountable laughs, and times of joy.   The pace of Western culture is fast, every second of the day is strategically planned out. To allow someone to help, or rely on involves time. Ultimately it is a call for greater tru...

         We ended Jamaica with a splash, enjoying a day of Cliff jumping and fun. I've told myself that I will not struggle in leaving, that I won't cry like others say they will. Yet, as we begin to pack our bags this little sinking feeling has begun to form deep in my stomach. The same feeling I felt when I left my home for the last time in May. The same feeling when we were driven from the Salvation Army in New York to the airport. And now- that same feeling as we begin to say our goodbyes. A feeling of sadness, mixed with a little anxiety but above all the desire to stay "just a little longer." I have learned that when you let down the barriers of "us" and "them"- relationships begin to form and pretty soon a place that felt so foreign now feels like home.  I'm going to miss long talks on the back porch with my host brother Biggs. The long and dreaded hike of Rich man hill and the many times slipping in the rain. I'm going to...

The last two weeks have consisted of a whirlwind of emotions, unexpected experiences and countless growing opportunities. This week I said yes more times than I ever thought the word no. When I doubted myself, and my abilities I chose to jump in. I was ready to fail, be rejected and mess up- but instead God caught me and taught me. He lifted me from my insecurities and showed me a new way to love Him and serve Him. If someone asked me where I thought I would be a year from now I never would have pictured myself here. Teaching Sunday school to squirming wide eyed distracted kids after a 30 minute uphill walk. Thankfully kids have a way of looking past frazzled hair and bright red faces. I never would have imagined myself leading a message/devotional to multiple people. I would never have seen myself reading God's word late at night, eagerly waiting for my host brother to hurry up and finish his movie so I could tell Him of what I was reading. I never envisioned myself ...

I'm currently sitting in a hot van, on my way down the windy mountainside. I haven't been able to sit down and right a thoughtful well written blog so please excuse my scattered rambles.  The more we settle into Jamaica the more we have been able to gain valuable relationships in the community. Unlike other mission trips where you come and do a lot of manual labor, we are here for an extended period of time. This gives us the opportunity to truly get to know the community, build relationships and share about Jesus in a way that we would be unable to do with a strict schedule.  This being said, it isn't always easy. Coming from a culture that is very goal oriented, progress driven, and strict with time has created a deeply embedded go go go mentality. It's as though my internal clock is having to be re-wired. This has made it especially difficult at times when we're being called to just sit in relationship, in the presence of God.  I'd love to sit he...

As I stepped off the plane in Jamaica I remember thinking, "This is it- no turning back now." I twiddled my phone in my thumbs, and thought of all the friends and family I was leaving behind. When I signed up for this trip I 110% knew what I was getting into. Through prayer, fundraising and packing you would have thought I had all the time in the world to prepare myself for the next six months. In reality, the last couple months before leaving was spent shuffling three jobs, couch surfacing to save money on gas and finishing up what felt like am endless amount of term papers. It felt the only time I had time to truly stop and breathe was when I was in the car driving to the next place. It was as if I had been on auto-pilot, struggling to get tie up all my responsibilities and fitting in my farewells. And then all of a sudden- in what felt like a blink of an eye I was in the back off a 10 seater van, sweat pouring off my face with a view much different than ...

Stop correcting "i"The smell of burnt coffee beans fills the air. I can hear buzzes of cellphones, murmurs of friends talking in line- and the occasional whoosh of the expresso machine. As I look out the small coffee shop window I see a diverse city, a puzzle of God's wonderful creation. This week I have had the opportunity to connect with many people, all in different part of their life.  Conversations have ranged from embarrassing subway stories, to struggles within the health care system, to future hopes and dreams.  I answered the question, 'Where is Maine?" so many times this week I can not keep count.  We are currently partnering with the Salvation Army in Harlem, New York. During the day we help at a food kitchen- mainly creating relationships with the community; loving them and praying for them.  In the afternoons I help in a classroom of 1st graders, their teacher being another young college student. She is currently in school to be a lawyer...