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Faith Vs. Fear





My time in Jamaica has been spent learning, growing and loving. God has been working on my heart continuously. I came into this trip with the misguided mindset of a new start, and new beginning. There is this assumption that when you leave an environment you are in all the pieces will fall together, clicking into this seemingly happy perfect life.  What better way to feel joy than living a life whole heartedly being present in relationships? Being able to love, and share about Jesus. However, in the last month this mentality has drastically shifted. 

God's love, and His grace has become a steadfast part of where I am. Like a pacemaker, God has become my lifeline. Life gets crazy, messy and it can be hard, but it also can be a whirlwind of uncountable laughs, and times of joy.  

The pace of Western culture is fast, every second of the day is strategically planned out. To allow someone to help, or rely on involves time. Ultimately it is a call for greater trust. If you can do it so good yourself why allow someone else in? 

Stress is the driving force of fear. Fear is the distrust and uncertainty of the future. It causes you to grow from the most patient of a  person to anxious and guarded. 

You begin to live on auto pilot, afraid to step out of the box. You're to do lists have footnotes and you time is planned to a T. If you are not moving you are not working. If you are not working, what is it you are doing? There was no room for the unexpected. If it were my choice I'd like to be ahead of the game. Wouldn't it be nice to see the future? 

Fear is sneaky, it works best due to its element of being spontaneous. Try as we move we don't always have knowledge or CONTROL over what is happening. And this can be really freakin scary. 

Jesus disciples know this exact feeling of anxiety and angst. While crossing the sea of Galilee a huge storm game in. As the disciples scrambled in fear Jesus was simply taking a nap. The ran to Him yelling "Teacher, don't you care that we are going to drown!?" Jesus did not respond in mockery, but acknowledged this fear replying, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" (Matthew 4:35-41) 

I think of all the times I have panicked in my life questioning where God is. Has he forgotten me? Does he even care? These questions lead me falling deeper in my discouragement. Feeling guilty for questioning God I become more guarded. I would rather not fess up to my distrust of the most high God. What kind of a believer would I be then? 

Here is the thing. God doesn't want us to live a lifestyle of dodging storms and trying to keep our heads afloat. He wants us to learn to trust in Him, living in the shadow of His strength. 

God is immovable, and inevitable. We don't have to drain ourselves trying to know the future because we know the God who knows the future. Nothing surprises Him, or rattles Him. 

We need to remember that He is on our side. Our perception of His intent is often clouded in the busyness and noise of life. We know that He is WITH us, but is he really for us? 

The Bible reminds us that ALL things work together for His good. Life is going to throw us curve balls whether or not we're ready for them. But to live white knuckling your way through life because you have it all figured out is not that way to go. 

In His presence we will find peace. His peace, love and mercy will dispel all fear. 

For years I have tried to keep myself together, desperately picking up the pieces when I mistakenly fall apart. When life weighs me down so much that I finally break. We've all been there, we put on that mask and trudge our way through life- but at what cost? We lose our comfort, our peace and the ability to take healthy risks out of the risk of failure. 

I wish I could testify to having a crazy spiritual lightbulb moment where I can say I have given it all to God and everything is "all better". The comfort of His promises are sinking in daily. My confidence in Him is forever growing. Daily I must surrender myself to Him. "He must increase but I must decrease" (John 3:30). 

Being a Christian isn't easy, but it is worth. It isn't easy, but it is simply. Surrender to Him. Stop fighting the storms of life yourself. Find hope and strength in Him, and remember there is no greater love than His. 

Verses of relevance: 
Matthew 6:25, 6:33 
Hebrews 13:5 
Psalms 55:22 




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