Skip to main content

Let your Mess be your Message

Yesterday marked 30 days since I have returned home to the states, after living out of the country
for a total of six months.  From the chaos to New York, the peaceful Mountains of Jamaica,
the long plains of Belize to the serenity of Costa Rica I learned lessons that will forever hold value
in my life.  Honestly, I have avoided processing the trip, scrolling through pictures or talking
too much out of fear I will miss it even more than I already do.  I’ve been afraid I will do an injustice
in trying to sum it up in words, that if I think about it too much I’ll have a harder time acclimating to
our Westernized culture.

However, I have been thankful for the friends and family who have supported me in my time of finding
a new “normal” amidst my old stopping grounds.  I give even greater thanks to God, who in my periods
of rest I have found great comfort.  Country after country we shared the message of
Ephesians 4, “There is one body and one Spirit….one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and
father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” The same God I danced for in the pews of
Jamaica; bowed to on my knees in Belize and found deep rest in Costa Rica is the same God that
here in America I will continue to give everything to.

If I were to sum up Immersion in one sentence it would be the following:
“Learning to live in His presence, clinging to Him, even though we are undeserving of His love.”  


For so long I lived my life trying to control my next move out of fear. I ran from my past trauma,
past mistakes and shortcomings.  Through many years of substance misuse, self-harm and shutting down
I know longer knew who I truly was. I was sinking into the ways of the world, submitting to the lies of the
enemy. Over the course of six months I healed in ways I’d never thought. Though it is hard to sum
everything up, there are four key lessons that have been placed on my heart.

Say Yes Even in the midst of fear, distrust, and lack of confidence- take a risk, say yes to the uncomfortable and
step out in faith. Joshua 1:9 commands us to, Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." What comfort that brings, to know and accept that even in the midst of being not so sure about your
next move GOD sees you, He hears you, He is with you, not sometimes but ALWAYS.

Cling to God above all Become dependent in Him and through Him. Don’t allow your faith to become a once a week check in.
Struggle through the week, doing “life” by yourself while telling yourself you are a Christian.  Sunday’s
don’t have to be a full up the tank and pray it lasts you the week.  Jesus invites us to a relationship with
Him that is intimate, and ever lasting. There is a place deep in our souls that is a place only He can
reach, where we find our strength and refugee.“You shall follow the Lord your God, and fear Him, and you shall keep His commandments, listen to His voice, Serve Him and CLING to Him.” -Deuteronomy 13:4.  Slowly I began to realize that becoming one with God is not to much a
commandment but a gracious invitation.

My Identity in Jesus The more I began to cling to Jesus, the more I began to understand who He truly was.
As I read through the gospel I learned that Jesus was portrayed as a King (Matthew), a servant (Mark),
a healer/physican (Luke) and the son of God (John).  Jesus was a teacher, a healer, a deliver, a SAVIOR.
No longer was my identity in the ways of the world. My past no longer held power over me.
The labels no longer stung, “addict or victim” because to Jesus I was simply His daughter, His child,
whom He loved dearly.  The world, my emotions, the circumstances around me no longer ruled me.  
Through Jesus, by the action of clinging to Him I found that my identity was rooted in Jesus.  
That God was the ultimate source of protection, blessing and unfailing love and joy.  

Let your mess be your message
The world gives us this idea that in order to come to God we first must get ourselves together, figure it all out, become spotless and sin free. Yet throughout the Bible we see countless accounts of individuals who had messed up a time or two and were still used in miraculous ways to bring the glory of God.  Think of Rahab, a prostitute who out of faith provided shelter and protection to Joshua’s spies. Or Saul, a man who lived in ruthless pursuit of killing Christians, radically saved after God revealed himself, choosing to then dedicate his life to spreading the gospel to the world.  

We are undeserving of His love, mercy, and grace for us- yet despite our shortcomings, and failure God uses sin to accomplish His will (Josh 2:5).  We don’t have to be perfect, or all together to be used by God.  Before truly laying my life down at the cross I lived in shame and guilt from my past. But now, with arms held wide, and eyes looking up I choose to let my mess by my message.
We are all broken, all hurting, all sinners.  So, I challenge you to slow down, say yes, look up from the despair of the world to the creator and redeemer. Learn to cling to Him, to become rooted in His word.  Life will never be perfect, pain and hurt will continue to come as we live in a fallen world, but through Jesus we can have hope. Through Him we can be redeemed and made new.
I’d like to say yet again, thank you. For every individual friends, family, strangers who chose to
support me on this journey. Thank you for your continuous support through
prayer, financial blessing and encouraging words.  

-Mariah Dufour


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hello again! Long time no talk?

             Updating my blog often is not as habitual as I would like, however here I am given a quick catch up.  On June 8th, 2014 I graduated from Poland Regional High school and let me just say it was quite a relief to finally be done these last four years.  It was like that of a marathon, the last leg of the race that seemed to continue on forever. I'd been impatient with life for who knew where I was going, or where the heck I'd even end up.  The last month of high school was one of the most challenging, but with a few close friends tightly by my side I made it through.             "Don't wish away high school, when you're finished you'll want to go back. Experience it all."  Advice I heard continuously from elders, much wiser for a reason.  Yet as I finished my last real day of high school emotions ran high.  Four years of ups and downs, highs and lows that seemed to feel like a r...

Washington vs. Whittier middle School

             The girls were anxious to begin the trip, but now as the first night comes to a close it's widely known that everyone is exhausted.  Red in the face (from the sun of course), grumpy by all mean and just plain tired.  Getting accustomed to a new area is always difficult, but with the humid heat and little experience in the area, maps of all colors became our new best friend.  Water bottles in hand, pins hanging from all the girls necks and the race was on.  Here at NHD boys and girls all over the world find common ground very quickly when it comes first to their passion of history and second get as many new pins from as many new places as possible.  Kids literally sigh when they realize the state you're from is already shown on their cord.               The speaker was amazing; a former NHD contestant herself she knew the drills; from research to traveling tips.  Ye...

John 15:5

          Many people dislike the hype over new years resolutions often ranting that people should not wait until the last day of the year deciding on how and what to change about their lives.  However, there is something viable and precious about making new goals towards a better year.  How is anyone suppose to grow if they never look back and learn from their present failures and mishaps?         Over the next few days I challenge those to reflect on their year, 2014- the good the bad and the ugly (only if you dare).  John 15:5 states, "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit: apart from me you can do anythi ng. “   Therefore with God the center and foundation of your resolutions they do have a chance of succeeding. So pray, seek answers and think back on what you have learned. 2015 brings in fresh life- so ponder the past but breath in the new.  I wonder...