Shifting Gears

               This last past year has been a year of growth, accomplishments, trials and loss. It has been a roller coster ride of events, and my faith wavered at times. I was unsure what was next on my path for life and I was becoming frustrated that I didn't know exactly what was next. Struggling with personal baggage, and holding onto past events left me chained down. I was angry at God for not helping, when I was so frustrated. Months later, through prayer, tears and patience I came to realize I was the one who was holding myself back.

              I chose to let go of the past which was holding me captive. Some days I still find myself looking back, questioning and pondering- but ultimately I must continue ahead. I've learned that it is OK to look back, but instead of focusing on the negative's of a situation, shifting gears to focus on the blessings of God and the testimony of how HE helped you through can mean the difference. This verse was a sweet reminder to this:  “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history.Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.  It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands." -Isaiah 43:16-20

           Due to the heavy weight of stress I decided to take a step back from campus ministry this year, besides taking a helping role in leading the Serve Up trip to New Orleans. I realized I was saying yes to being a leader, not because I felt called but because I didn't truly know how to say no.  Therefore I took a step back, and accepted the extra time as a blessing- where I could learn to just be.

         As the year came to an end I was asked what my intent was for next year, joining the ministry team or not. My first thought was sure! But- I reeled myself back and took a few weeks to think about it.  Every time I got in the car I would pray and all too often a song would begin to play, an anthem song "God is on the move, on the move, hallelujah!"  Campus is a place of individuals, so many individuals who need to be loved on and met where they are at.  But, anyone who knows me knows I have always dreamt of going on more mission trips that involve traveling out of the country. Yet here I was being called to ministry on campus and it clicked. I felt so convicted of the fact that I was willing to go and serve elsewhere, but not in my own neighborhood. 

       Identifying this feeling was a huge help because I was then able to pray into it more and got to the root of what was truly going on.  I was thankful for this acceptance- I no longer viewed Farmington as a place I felt "stuck" but as a thrilling new exciting place because I truly can not wait to see what God has in store for the UMF campus.  A couple weeks went by and I relieved an call from Immersion, Experience Missions-  I had completely forgotten about having contacted them.  Yet here they where, right after grasping the reality of living your mission wherever your feet are placed.
        I questioned if I should continue in the application process, or stop- but I continued to feel called and praying into it continued to affirm this.  Why Immersion though?

        When I first watched the video I remember thinking, "Woah- this is the one."
        The key line that stood out "Where BEing is more important than Doing."  Ironic considering all the lessons the year consisted of.

The second was this concept of being challenged, and growing, stepping out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself.  It is so easy to become comfortable with our lives, and stick to our bubble. I want to explore, and grow deeper in my faith and this mission trip valued this as well. Another huge plus is this trip is purely relational.  Meeting people where they are at, immersing oneself into their community, culture and every day living- sharing the love of Jesus and simply BEING.

And then I waited...only to find out...