Sing Praise to Him

          Fear is a funny mystery that reveals itself in ways that may not always seem 'normal'.  While being home I have felt anxious, discontent and annoyed in many ways.  I've spent day after day racking my brain trying to pin point what the heck is going on with me... Maybe I'm having an early life crisis, that happens right? Or maybe I'm not really happy, college isn't for everyone..        As I watch my closest friends I spent my high school years with getting engaged, married some even expecting I can't help but feel that I'm trying to play catch up. I've aways felt frustrated that people try and compare themselves to others, wanting what they have and you lack.  Yet here I was angry that I feel like my life is on some sort of stand still.  Like God has all my friends on an escalator on rabbit speed and mine is broken down- not moving forward, not moving backwards.     I remember thinking here i...

          Many people dislike the hype over new years resolutions often ranting that people should not wait until the last day of the year deciding on how and what to change about their lives.  However, there is something viable and precious about making new goals towards a better year.  How is anyone suppose to grow if they never look back and learn from their present failures and mishaps?         Over the next few days I challenge those to reflect on their year, 2014- the good the bad and the ugly (only if you dare).  John 15:5 states, "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit: apart from me you can do anythi ng. “   Therefore with God the center and foundation of your resolutions they do have a chance of succeeding. So pray, seek answers and think back on what you have learned. 2015 brings in fresh life- so ponder the past but breath in the new.  I wonder...

Writing is a past time of mine, but reading well it takes a taste for me to realize just how hungry I have been for a good story. I spent the day cuddled up in a castle of blankets with breaks few and far between for warming up my bean bag.  There is something special about getting lost in someone else's world.  One second your burning your lips off of the hot chocolate you just brewed and the next you're back in a scene running through the woods, urging the characters on.  You know you have read a good book when even after the last page has been turned you continue to think about where they are at now.  As you're doing dishes you're pondering if life ever returned back to normal for the characters? The main character fled at the end, where did they go? Questions after questions, that is when you know it was a good book. Thank you, Jesus for warm blankets and good reads.

People say it's impossible to stay healthy in college, I beg to differ. I live a minute away with access to a gym and what I choose to put in my body for good choice I have control over. Besides campus is lonely with no one here which = daycare, nursing home, gym all vacation.

Do you ever lie awake at night replaying events of your life, over and over again trying to put together the pieces? It feels as though I skipped over an entire scene, and now I’m busy trying to mend what I remember and what I filled in myself. The memories I mean or flashbacks. Some call them nightmares, but I prefer them to remain nameless. Another thought of the day, just like all the others except this memory won’t fade. So I’ll continue my days as if nothing has ever changed.

Fall semester of 2014, freshman at University of Maine Farmington.   Two days in and I had already declared a new major, rehabilitation services.    More like me I thought and soon discovered.   Goals of first month:  Meet friends.  Make dorm room look cute.   Don't f*** up. Pass classes.           I survived my first semester in college, hip hip hooray! Or should we wait for final grades?  Nah, I made it and I sure do love it!  College is a whole new level of independence that I am thriving off of.  It was a challenge not to rush myself into finding a job right away, but I wanted to allow myself time to sink into the college life.  My work study seemed like plenty, but I waited for something else to come along.  Though I felt like it was some stiff criteria I knew I wanted three things in my next job 1.) CNA at an assisted living home 2.) Flexible boss & a place where ...

College is all about finding yourself, learning to balance hard work and fun and most of all starting a foundation for your future.  Yet no matter how many questions I asked or people I prodded some lessens I found are learned yourself.  Or- to be quite honest many obstacles I knew nothing of. Many of the struggles I have faced in college already were expected, you know the occasional disagreement with a roommate or pop quiz you missed in class because you decided to sleep in and skip that 8 am. With this being said I've been surprised at some of the tough surprises I am running into. I. Stranger Stranger  For starters I knew I would probably be homesick, for sure.  But never in a million years would I find it so hard adjusting back home even for a couple nights.  No one told  me I would feel like a stranger in my own home .  My friend Emily moved into my room and though we've shared it for many months I all of a sudden feel like an intruder. ...

I feel so blessed to have landed at a school that I truly love. College isn't for anyone, but finding a town that I can call home- where locals already know you & your involvement is appreciated is amazing. A chance to test out how strong my independence really is. Working two part times jobs at the daycare, & nursing home I'm learning new skills that will help me through out life. I'm happy to call Farmington my home   Cheers to the next four years!

Tonight while taking care of a patient I started to have a sniffly nose. She then proceeded to pass me a tissue, "Will help each other- okay?" It's moments like these that keep me going.  I truly love my job.  #CNA for days #Dietary Aid 

Despite the car accident and some delays I made it for the tradition: making stuffing with Grammy! It's weird without you here Gramps & though today is the first holiday without you I know your there with us in spirit 

Dear Friends & Family,               As a freshman here at the University of Maine Farmington I have blessed with countless new opportunities.  This year I am going on a trip during February Break. Not only am I going, but my awesome roommate Denise Labrecque will be going as well. Together we have decided to lean on one another in fundraising and support. Having both traveled to Los Anonos, Costa Rica with our local church we share a common passion, loving and helping those who are in need. Mark 12:31 reads, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Whether it is 10,000 miles or 500 feet down the road we all can take part in the shaping and changing of this world. This is an amazing opportunity and we are both looking forward to it. The trip is through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, which is the Christian fellowship group in colleges throughout New England. The trip I will be going on is called Serve-Up, New...

Rain boots & tea, isn't that all a girl ever needs?  So I thought. Until I realized- I needed more. More Jesus, more love. A little TLC.  Maybe it involved some blankets,  some additional tea, but what really made this day so special  was it just being all about Jesus and me.  Life is crazy and at times can be a whirl wind,  but learning when to settle down  and take a step back is well,  truly a God send.  Autumn here is beautiful, this I am thankful for.  Rain or shy the day will go on,  but I ask myself today-  is rain boots and tea all a girl ever needs? 

Here is to a new beginning, a time to utilize the hard lessens learned over these last four years.  A place to learn, grow and become a new person.  Unlike high school where time is spend studying material that feels more a burden than a future tool my time is spent digging into what I truly hope to spend the rest of my life doing. Working with those who need to be rehabilitated: yep that's right- I'm a full blown out rehabilitation major and I can not be more happy with my decision!  This major is extremely broad which gives me the freedom to test the waters out in the field and figure out where I will be truly happy.  University of Maine Farmington is beautiful and full of wonderful people and I can honestly say I can not wait to see what the next four years bring.

Today was a new experience for me to say the least.  As a young child I often spent summer mornings picking raspberries at a local farm, but strawberries!? Now that was new for me! There is nothing better than leaving on a full stomach, strawberry stained hands & tired from so much laughter. Summer days are bliss. 

 The past four years I have prayed continuously for a true friend and if anyone would have told me I'd have a roommate senior year I would have just giggled. Yet- here is Emily! One of the greatest friends ever, but more a sister now.  Last November she moved in and she has become a big part of our family from cookouts to ER visits we've been there for each other through many ups and downs.  I owe a huge thank you to this girl!  Nichole, my sister'n law and better half.  Growing up Nichole baby sat me and now I babysit her little girls, #3 is on the way! Love love love her! Meet my sister and Mom- the two most independent women I know. Not sure where I would be without these two and I'm thankful for all they have done for me.

After a night at camp theres nothing like a pit stop to Snow Falls for exploring.     The moment my best friend gave me the most helpful advice in the world "Don't fall- Mariah.." Why thank you Emily.  Being best friends wasn't our choice, but more of God's way of saying - here meet now and us becoming like soul sisters.  Not sure where I would be if it wasn't for having such an awesome friend who always knows when a good road trip is necessary! Getting comfy there Em?

The Przewalski's horse is the last wild horse known to mankind with only about 250 still remaining in the wild.  Crazy! I've always had a strange love for this horse when I wrote a report in 5th or 6th grade. Horse loving :) 

 A mans best friend may not always be that of a dog.  Mans best friends comes in all shapes, sizes and colors.  Some they waddle, or others they fly. Here is that of Kate's new friend.  They hit it off for sure, literally he chased her back and forth for a good thirty minutes.  He was friendly and curious, a lively bird at that.  I now understand why it is zoos carry signs that read "Please do not touch animals."  Why would anyone actually want to touch an animal? But this bird, boy was he tempting to reach out to. As soon as Kate would walk out of sight the bird would look high and low, left and right for her- a shadow even.  Any movement sparked his running, and upon not finding who he had sought out he would hang his head. A mans best friend, a bird. 

I always imagined the cemetery before ever being there, but upon seeing it for the first time no amount of past thoughts could ever have taken the initial wow away. Grave after grave, in thousands of rows it was as if death was staring right back at me.  If I closed my eyes I could envision the young men and women on the battle field, their loves ones anxiously awaiting back home. The generations of heroes, the history of many- all in one field.  To the unknown soldier we say.    

             The girls were anxious to begin the trip, but now as the first night comes to a close it's widely known that everyone is exhausted.  Red in the face (from the sun of course), grumpy by all mean and just plain tired.  Getting accustomed to a new area is always difficult, but with the humid heat and little experience in the area, maps of all colors became our new best friend.  Water bottles in hand, pins hanging from all the girls necks and the race was on.  Here at NHD boys and girls all over the world find common ground very quickly when it comes first to their passion of history and second get as many new pins from as many new places as possible.  Kids literally sigh when they realize the state you're from is already shown on their cord.               The speaker was amazing; a former NHD contestant herself she knew the drills; from research to traveling tips.  Ye...

National history day! (s)   June 15th- Manchester, New Hampshire Airport To Washington D.C, Maryland  World travelers right here.  There is something special, almost sacred about flying for the first time. The butterflies one gets in their stomach during take off, the popping of the ears. Or maybe it's when the plane begins to climb which feels like the slowest travels ever. When land beneath feels so close you could touch it, and yet thousands of miles separate you. Flying is special, flying is sacred.  

             Updating my blog often is not as habitual as I would like, however here I am given a quick catch up.  On June 8th, 2014 I graduated from Poland Regional High school and let me just say it was quite a relief to finally be done these last four years.  It was like that of a marathon, the last leg of the race that seemed to continue on forever. I'd been impatient with life for who knew where I was going, or where the heck I'd even end up.  The last month of high school was one of the most challenging, but with a few close friends tightly by my side I made it through.             "Don't wish away high school, when you're finished you'll want to go back. Experience it all."  Advice I heard continuously from elders, much wiser for a reason.  Yet as I finished my last real day of high school emotions ran high.  Four years of ups and downs, highs and lows that seemed to feel like a r...