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Finding my Faith


“Follow your heart”, “Just do what you think is right” are two common themes young millennials pass around today.  How many Christians do you know who show up to church on Sunday’s, after a week full of slandering words, deceitful lies or nights of partying?  Our relationship with Christ becomes merely a check off box, an act of going with the motions.  
As inviting as the “Follow your heart message” is it can be devastating to our spiritual lives. Our salvation comes from our faith, not our feelings (Ephesians 2:8).  Feelings & emotions are inconsistent, continuously changing due to the tides of circumstances around us.  Before we even realize it we become victims to our own thoughts which often lead us to making ungodly, unwise, self-centered decisions.  Instead of dying to self, and surrendering daily we spend our time trying to desperately control our failings, fighting for the next fleeting pleasure.
Maybe we do set a day, cup of coffee in hand, bible in lap- ready to go. We pose for the cute instagram picture of the day, before we briefly skim over the verses. We pick and choose exactly what we want to hear, what feels good and seems to “fit” for the day.  When these becomes a consistent theme we quickly end up with a flimsy, lukewarm version of the gospel. It’s no wonder when life gets difficult we fight to find our grounding. The bible warns us of the dangers of following our heart and emotions (Jeremiah 17:9, Proverbs 28:26).
I know what it’s like to live a life allowing your surrounding circumstances to dictate your happiness; allowing the ebbs and flows of emotions to have power over your attitude. When we feel unsteady we reach for anything that seemingly would help to balance us out. We isolate ourselves, become angry or frustrated with God not “fully understanding” when- have we ever really given Him the chance to speak? For years I hid behind good grades, crazy work schedules, and the nightly ritual of drinking and prescription drugs. Over and over again I found myself in dangerous situations, leading to more hurt. Some would think an overdose early in college would jolt me to reality, but others would know I was too stubborn to get help. Every low, would eventually lead me to another high. I clung to this hope, more than I clung to my faith.
However following Jesus, believing in the gospel- isn’t simply a quick fix. You can say the prayer, become a saved Christian and still live in a sea of hurt.  The follow your heart message makes it seem like you can have the best of both worlds. Ask forgiveness on Sunday’s, do what you want the other six days.God calls us to far greater plans than the ones we have for ourselves. We either do what we want, what feels good or we do what we should do. But not both. In John 8:31-32 Jesus says, “If you abide in my word...you are truly my disciples. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” I like to assume it isn’t a coincidence that the word disciple and discipline have the same root. To be disciplined means having the self control to read obey and His word.  This can be a difficult task when you’re too busy trying to protect yourself.  Thankfully the Bible also tells us to  “Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…(Proverbs 3:5-6).  If my lens of God is through my own understanding, the understanding often clouded by rising and falling emotions then surely my relationship with God will seem unreliable.
Yes, emotions and feelings will continuously change. They will be inconsistent. If we allow our circumstances to dictate our happiness then we will forever be disappointed.  But if we look up, look to God and walk in a spirit filled life- clinging to His word above all else; .then the hurt of the day will fade in comparison to his love and faithfulness to us.  God cares about past, and current struggles, but above all we must remember that accepting his truth- not running away from it is what will bring us to ultimate healing and victory through Him.


“He felt the weight of my sin, shame, and despair so that I could feel the weight of his forgiveness, love, and hope.” -Rid of my Disgrace By: Justin S. Holcomb & Lindsey A. Holcomb


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