I have been holding onto this song the last few days, as I pray continously for those around me who are in pain and hurting. It seems ever where I turn there is a family member or close friend whose heart weighs heavy with the burdens of life. Every job I have is within the helping field, calling me to give of myself in many different ways. The crying shoulder as someone mourns their loved one. The unbiased listener to those who feel abused and lost between the cracks of public assistance, whose daily routine consists of finding the next meal and making it back to the shelter for the night. Weekends are spent answering helpline calls for a sexual assault crisis center, where I spend the evening helping individuals through flashbacks and nightmares that leave them terrified. Yet, at the end of the day- I lack the power, the means, and the strength to take away anyones pain. How I would love to wave a magic wand, and make all better. Though God has given me the gift of intuition and sensitivity, it surely comes with a heavy burden at times. I am thankful I serve a God who has it all under control, and knows the plans He has for people. At the end of the day all I can do is love onto others, and cast my worries on the Lord, holding those I care about up in prayers.
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT
It doesn't matter how many resources I provide, or answers I try to give. I am weak, I can not rescue, and I most certainly can not save. I often hold myself to high standard, creating unrealistic expectations of who I am and who I am suppose to be. The "helper" who has it together. This pressure weighed me down to the point of feeling stagnant in my faith. It was then a mentor stepped in, and introduced to me the concept of being openly broken.
When I became a Christian, I became a follower of Jesus. When I asked Him into my heart I was given a new identity through Him. Labels no longer defined me. 2 Corinthians 5:17 states, "Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new."
What an awesome opportunity to start over, a clean slate- a new life. What causes me to remain in awe is the fact we are undeserving of His endless and unwavering love. When those around us fail us, and the ground beneath us seems unstable- we can always rely on Him. With Him we are free from the chains that bind us.
So tonight as I lay my head down to rest I think of all those my heart hurts for, and instead of fighting this heaviness I feel- I will pray into it. How thankful I am for someone who grants freedom from the thorns of this world.
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