Sing Praise to Him

          Fear is a funny mystery that reveals itself in ways that may not always seem 'normal'.  While being home I have felt anxious, discontent and annoyed in many ways.  I've spent day after day racking my brain trying to pin point what the heck is going on with me... Maybe I'm having an early life crisis, that happens right? Or maybe I'm not really happy, college isn't for everyone..        As I watch my closest friends I spent my high school years with getting engaged, married some even expecting I can't help but feel that I'm trying to play catch up. I've aways felt frustrated that people try and compare themselves to others, wanting what they have and you lack.  Yet here I was angry that I feel like my life is on some sort of stand still.  Like God has all my friends on an escalator on rabbit speed and mine is broken down- not moving forward, not moving backwards.     I remember thinking here i...

          Many people dislike the hype over new years resolutions often ranting that people should not wait until the last day of the year deciding on how and what to change about their lives.  However, there is something viable and precious about making new goals towards a better year.  How is anyone suppose to grow if they never look back and learn from their present failures and mishaps?         Over the next few days I challenge those to reflect on their year, 2014- the good the bad and the ugly (only if you dare).  John 15:5 states, "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit: apart from me you can do anythi ng. “   Therefore with God the center and foundation of your resolutions they do have a chance of succeeding. So pray, seek answers and think back on what you have learned. 2015 brings in fresh life- so ponder the past but breath in the new.  I wonder...

Writing is a past time of mine, but reading well it takes a taste for me to realize just how hungry I have been for a good story. I spent the day cuddled up in a castle of blankets with breaks few and far between for warming up my bean bag.  There is something special about getting lost in someone else's world.  One second your burning your lips off of the hot chocolate you just brewed and the next you're back in a scene running through the woods, urging the characters on.  You know you have read a good book when even after the last page has been turned you continue to think about where they are at now.  As you're doing dishes you're pondering if life ever returned back to normal for the characters? The main character fled at the end, where did they go? Questions after questions, that is when you know it was a good book. Thank you, Jesus for warm blankets and good reads.

People say it's impossible to stay healthy in college, I beg to differ. I live a minute away with access to a gym and what I choose to put in my body for good choice I have control over. Besides campus is lonely with no one here which = daycare, nursing home, gym all vacation.

Do you ever lie awake at night replaying events of your life, over and over again trying to put together the pieces? It feels as though I skipped over an entire scene, and now I’m busy trying to mend what I remember and what I filled in myself. The memories I mean or flashbacks. Some call them nightmares, but I prefer them to remain nameless. Another thought of the day, just like all the others except this memory won’t fade. So I’ll continue my days as if nothing has ever changed.

Fall semester of 2014, freshman at University of Maine Farmington.   Two days in and I had already declared a new major, rehabilitation services.    More like me I thought and soon discovered.   Goals of first month:  Meet friends.  Make dorm room look cute.   Don't f*** up. Pass classes.           I survived my first semester in college, hip hip hooray! Or should we wait for final grades?  Nah, I made it and I sure do love it!  College is a whole new level of independence that I am thriving off of.  It was a challenge not to rush myself into finding a job right away, but I wanted to allow myself time to sink into the college life.  My work study seemed like plenty, but I waited for something else to come along.  Though I felt like it was some stiff criteria I knew I wanted three things in my next job 1.) CNA at an assisted living home 2.) Flexible boss & a place where ...

College is all about finding yourself, learning to balance hard work and fun and most of all starting a foundation for your future.  Yet no matter how many questions I asked or people I prodded some lessens I found are learned yourself.  Or- to be quite honest many obstacles I knew nothing of. Many of the struggles I have faced in college already were expected, you know the occasional disagreement with a roommate or pop quiz you missed in class because you decided to sleep in and skip that 8 am. With this being said I've been surprised at some of the tough surprises I am running into. I. Stranger Stranger  For starters I knew I would probably be homesick, for sure.  But never in a million years would I find it so hard adjusting back home even for a couple nights.  No one told  me I would feel like a stranger in my own home .  My friend Emily moved into my room and though we've shared it for many months I all of a sudden feel like an intruder. ...

I feel so blessed to have landed at a school that I truly love. College isn't for anyone, but finding a town that I can call home- where locals already know you & your involvement is appreciated is amazing. A chance to test out how strong my independence really is. Working two part times jobs at the daycare, & nursing home I'm learning new skills that will help me through out life. I'm happy to call Farmington my home   Cheers to the next four years!

Tonight while taking care of a patient I started to have a sniffly nose. She then proceeded to pass me a tissue, "Will help each other- okay?" It's moments like these that keep me going.  I truly love my job.  #CNA for days #Dietary Aid 

Despite the car accident and some delays I made it for the tradition: making stuffing with Grammy! It's weird without you here Gramps & though today is the first holiday without you I know your there with us in spirit